Friends, we have truly seen it ALL when it comes to wedding days. Fainting bridesmaids, rainy hurricanes, jaw dropping emotional grooms, and so much more! Something that we’ve really noticed changing the atmosphere from wedding to wedding is the guests! Believe it or not, the guests energy and presence can totally make or break the day! And after working around 75 weddings and attending even more, we’re learned a thing or two :] So today’s post goes out to the guests: the friends, the family, the besties of the happy couple. Here’s a little love note from us to you with some tips of how to be a stellar guest at your next wedding or two (or five! ;])

1. RSVP responsibly. Aka actually do it! And do it on time. It seems like no big thing to send a quick text to your friend instead of sending in the RSVP card or filling out a form on their website, but I promise you, it is! I can’t tell you how much time my couples and friends spend tracking down guest counts. Make it easier on them by participating in the first bit of their wedding you get to be a part of! They want to know if you’re coming because they need to know where to seat you and what to feed you. AND on top of that, they’re paying anywhere from $25 to $100 a guest! (sometimes even more!) So if you RSVP, you have a responsibility to show up on the day of! There’s nothing sadder than the new couple seeing the place cards left over from their loved ones who dropped out last minute.

2. Attend according to your invitation. Aka don’t ask for a plus one if it isn’t listed on your invitation. Remember how much it costs to just add ONE guest to a guest list? $25 to $100! That adds up quick! Look at your solo invite as an affirmation of how much your friends love YOU rather than something to be bummed about. I promise they deliberated over that guest list for months with a lot of guilt about not being able to invite everyone and potentially hurting feelings!

3. Don’t text the bride the night before the wedding. Or the day of. That’s just good sense friends :] Keep your invitation, bookmark their wedding website, and make your plans way early! If all else fails, text a bridal party instead of the bride or groom! They just planned a wedding and dealt with logistics for months and months, let them enjoy their wedding weekend without being bombarded by texts!

4. Dress Appropriately. Save your invite and note the venue, season, and if there’s a dress code…and then abide by it! If you’re going to a wedding at a big hotel, pull out your fanciest attire, if you’re going to a wedding at a barn, it’s probably safe to wear that cute sun dress :] (also remember that you’re going to be dancing and jumping around :] you wouldn’t believe how many guests have pulled a “janet jackson” on the dance floor)

5. Bring a gift. (off the registry) Part one: bring a gift. Non negotiable. Technically you’ve got a year to deliver on this! If it’s not a good time budget wise, then make a plan of how to get it done! The couple has invested (financially and their time) so that you could be a part of their day. It’s the least you could do! Part two: I’m a big advocate for buying gifts off the registry! Registries started being a thing because usually the two people getting married were just starting out and needed basic household things to start their lives together. Obviously, that’s not always the case! Registries have evolved and now couples are using things like Honeyfund or even asking for checks or cash to start their lives together. Tradition is changing and if you can bless the bride and groom with something they need and have asked for, I promise they’ll appreciate it!

6. Be early. The ceremony time listed on the invite is when the ceremony is starting. Like the quartet will start playing, grandparents will be walking down the aisle, and you will be feeling really awkward if you aren’t seated. Also, there are a lot outdoor ceremony sites where you can see cars approaching from SO far away. You don’t want to be the ones who are driving up mid ceremony and everyone’s having an awkward chuckle at :] Plan to arrive 15 minutes early at the least!

7. Put your phone away (at least during the ceremony). They invited you so they could see your faces, not your phone case as you snap away while they’re coming down the aisle! Your friend painstakingly chose a photographer and/or videographer for their wedding day! Not only did they choose, but they invested in professionals who are more than capable of capturing the day. Sit back and enjoy making eye contact with your treasured friend or family when they see you on their big day for the first time, instead of looking at them through a screen. Be present with them, instead of distracted. I promise I’m notorious for whipping out my iPhone when we attend a friend’s wedding, but I make sure to put it away until the ceremony is over. There’s no shame in documenting the day and preserving memories in your own way, but leave it to the professionals when it comes to ceremony time. (ps: I say this with love, your instagram post is not as important as the portraits from the ceremony that the bride and groom will show their grandkids one day. be conscious of being in the hired vendors shots)

8. Do all the things. Sign the guestbook. Go to the photo booth. Eat the cake. Get on the dance floor. Use the hashtags. Take your favor! Again, your friends have put so much thought into planning all the details! Love them well by participating and being all there with them. Indulge in all of the goofy photo booth props and clever-y worded hashtags.

9. Have fun, but don’t get sloppy. You know what I’m saying, friends :] Sure, there’s an open bar! Sure, there’s a shuttle bus to take you home! But don’t be that guest. I promise you that a lot of brides and grooms can remember a guest who drank too much and made a moment about them being out of control, instead of the new Mr and Mrs. Dance it up, have a couple drinks, but remember that the evening isn’t about you!

*Disclaimer: the picture below was an example of things getting HILARIOUS, not sloppy :]

10. Stay until the bride and groom’s big exit. Unless you have a commitment with a babysitter then just plan to stay until the end :] Your friends planned a super fun evening and want to celebrate with you all night long! (or at least until they run off into the sparkler filled night) Settle in and enjoy yourself so you send them off in style and with SO much excitement!

BONUS: Let the bride and groom eat their dinner. Here’s a list of the times that a bride and groom get to be “alone” during their wedding: dinner time. That’s it! Resist the urge to storm their sweetheart table and wait for them to make the rounds to your table. If they don’t catch you at that point, you’ll definitely get to hug them on the dance floor. David is VERY passionate about this one. So I made it my bonus tip :] He’s always running interference to make sure our couples get a few bites of their delicious dinner they handpicked.

PS: so much love to our brides and grooms! this one is for you guys <3