Busy. I can’t tell you how much I loathe that word. It’s so often a barrier, an excuse, an easy way to drive yourself or others into isolation. SO often this is the answer when we ask someone how they’re doing, and lately, it’s the first thing that comes to mind when I think of how I’m doing.

For those of you who aren’t in the wedding industry, we’re all closing out what we affectionately refer to as the “busy season.” Fall weddings, booking season, and fall foliage engagements, along with workshops and conferences, all hit at right about the same time and it’s enough to make your head spin. And if you’re in the wedding industry, then I know you’re with me. It’s crazy to think that plans that we’ve committed to over a year ago are dictating how we live our lives. And it’s all GOOD things. But it can be SO overwhelming. It’s the prime season for burnout. It’s the time of year that it is so easy and so common to just burst into tears and want to take a nap from the sheer exhaustion of it all.

Right now, for David and I, we’re in the midst of balancing our business, working for Cru, and David’s grad school. Needless to say, it’s a lot. We could easily hide behind “busy” because it’s all that we are right now. Literally any free hour, not that there are many, could be filled with more work…and often need to be. And then add the fact that we’re having a baby! Eek! I don’t say this to complain, but just to say that this is our reality. And somehow, usually, we’re thankful. And it’s because we are purposely remembering the “why” in our lives. Constantly. Over and over.

And I think that is the key to how to avoid burnout in the midst of a busy season. You remember the WHY. You go back to your vision. You look for the purpose behind all of your plans. Something I’ve noticed is that the commitments with real purpose hold up…I’m able to do them joyfully and without emotional exhaustion. Because they’re worth the time, effort, and physical exhaustion.

For example, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that our lives are supposed to contain all three facets I mentioned above: loving our engaged and married couples well, ministering to college students, David pursuing school. There’s a ton of other things we could say “yes” to: mini sessions, life changing conferences, etc. There’s a lot that we wish we could fit into our lives. But just because we can, doesn’t mean we should. And just because some things are “good” doesn’t mean they are necessary.

Here’s the other key: remaining present. I won’t even pretend I came up with this on my own. Last spring, my boss Jake who is much, much wiser than me, taught us a little bit about the difference between being “hurried” and being “busy.” And it blew. my. mind. Not only because it gave me some much needed freedom from that BUSY label I was living under. But also because I didn’t know how I never realized it before. The key, is presence. And the joy stealer is not “busy,” but it is “hurry.”

“You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life. Hurry is the great enemy of spiritual life in our day. There is a difference between being busy and being hurried. Jesus was often busy, but never hurried. Being hurried is a condition of the soul.” – Dallas Willard. 

I think this applies to SO much more than spiritual life. Here are the differences between “hurried” and “busy.” Busy means you have a full schedule, lots of activities. It’s an outward condition, it’s physically demanding, and for me, reminds me that I need God. On the other hand, hurried means being preoccupied, unable to be present. It’s an inner condition of the soul, it’s spiritually and emotionally draining, and causes me to be unavailable to God and to people. It’s that feeling of sitting down with a friend only to be listing out all of your “to-dos” in your head as they’re sharing their life. It’s the inability to sit down and rest because you can’t stop thinking and worrying about all of your commitments that feel like they’re drowning you. It’s living a life that’s distracted.

“Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it.” -Kierkegaard. 

Here’s why this brought me freedom: busy wasn’t the problem…hurried was. My full to the brim schedule, while not ideal, wasn’t the issue. The thing that was draining me was hurry. Inability to be present. Emotional exhaustion. And busy isn’t evil.

As much as a full schedule meant saying no to friends sometimes, not being able to be spontaneous for a season, and being physically tired: it didn’t mean that there could be no joy in my life. It didn’t mean that I couldn’t be thankful and present in every circumstance. And in the moments that I choose to be present over being worried/stressed/preoccupied, I can experience all that God has for me. I can experience joy.

“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment.” -Thoreau

Sidenote: Sometimes it is WHOLLY appropriate to start saying “no” to things in your life. Sometimes the levels of busy in your life lead to nothing but a “hurried” state of mind. I’m not saying this to be another excuse for having a too full schedule. That’s why it’s so important to know WHY you are doing what you’re doing.

If you want more posts like this one, feel free to leave a note in the comments! And if you want to hear more, Natalie Franke blogged about this very thing today!