It’s about time I started blogging about what it felt like to be a bride.

Something that is really unfortunate about being human is that you just live with regrets. You live with those moments of wishing you could’ve or would’ve. And I think none of those feelings have been more pressing than in my season of being engaged and planning a wedding. That 10 months of being engaged moved both more quickly and more slowly than any season of life. I was aching for time to speed to May 26th and for time to stop in its tracks, all at the exact same time. I didn’t want to miss anything. It felt like real life was happening around me every second and I just wanted to hold on and slow down and remember it all.

And if there’s one thing I would’ve, could’ve done, one thing that I’d love to advise every bride-to-be to do….it’d be to write it all down. From that moment he drops to one knee, to the full on meltdowns over invitation suites (BEEN THERE!), to how it felt the second he became your husband….write it all down. Because if there is one thing that I wish I could’ve done differently…it’d be that, hands down.

Ironically, I’ve been a journaler in every other season of life. From the sad, dramatic days in high school to the highs and lows of college life…I’ve got it all recorded. But I guess I just got wrapped up in that year of being engaged. If I had a do-over, I’d head to Barnes and Noble right after I got engaged and pick out a blank journal…and I’d fill it with everything. I’d write down our whole proposal story. It’d write down David’s exact words when he asked me to marry him, and I’d have them forever. Instead of the general gist of it that I have in my head now, I’d be able to see exactly how David felt, right then, one one knee, at age 23, asking for forever.

I’d write down how I felt after spending a full day in the cold, getting engagement pictures taken and cuddling with my love. My favorite, wish I could remember in clarity moments are included below. Can I just say that that is what I LOVE about photography?! The moments that are fleeting forever stay in an image. But how badly do I wish I could remember those in between frame moments with picture perfect clarity?!

This was one of my favorite images. Because this is US. Sitting at a coffee table, enjoying each others company. We spend so much of our time dating sitting across a table from each other, David sipping on coffee and me caught up in a book or in a conversation.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to read over my thoughts from the seconds after we were engaged?

Wouldn’t it be lovely to remember how it felt to be at a friend’s wedding (left), ENGAGED, knowing we were starting that process? And how wonderful to go back and treasure those few days we spent in NYC, only a couple weeks after we got engaged.

Or how it felt to hang out at our wedding venue?

Or those first set of engagement pictures, taken by a good friend, knowing that it was finally OUR turn.

Or that last Easter together, one short month away from graduation, and just a few more weeks until we were MARRIED.

And this is REALLY where I wish I could rewind to. I wish I could go back to our 5am plane ride, the day after our wedding, and furiously scribble down how these specific moments felt.

How it felt to know that David had written me letters for the last year to be delivered to me before our first look. And also how it felt to be speed reading them as my best friend painted my nails.

How it felt to be zipped up by all of my favorite ladies. And how it felt to be surrounded by all of the women in all of my walks of life at precisely the same moment.

Or to remember that moment that I really felt like a BRIDE.

Or how it felt to walk up behind David in the heat of the day, with tear filled eyes, and nervous butterflies.

Can I just say that this is why you do a first look?!

How terribly bad could I wish how it felt to be surrounded by my people and praying to Jesus and thanking Him for the way He had orchestrated my life up to this point, thanking Him for saving me and thanking Him for my sweet almost husband.

And oddly enough, this moment is the biggest blur from the day. Nothing holds sharp and I feel like I can only remember the pictures.

Ahhh, but this I do remember. (thankfully) Taking communion was, by far, my favorite part of the day. It was such a sweet moment with the Lord and with each other.

And how about this moment?!

How about how it felt to see all of our people in ONE room?!

How about how it felt to hear my best friend share my story and the gospel with all of our wedding guests?

Oh goodness. How about how it felt to see my Dad, even though we specifically told the deejay to NEVER hand him the mic, grab the mic and start a soul train moment.

And this one. How badly I wish I could go back and hold this moment close. Dancing with my new husband by twinkle lights.

I love this image because it’s true to how the moment felt. Our wedding day feels like a blur. Our engagement feels like a blur, and I wish I could grab some of the moments back with sharp clarity.

Gosh and how badly I wish I could go back to our honeymoon and spend time writing how it felt to be a wife for the first time.

I say all of this to say that this is what I would say to you, sweet bride. Buy a journal. Write it all down. Cherish the moments that feel like screaming color right now, but will soon fade to blur. You won’t regret those moments you spend reflecting and writing, but you will regret the ones you forget.