I am such an advocate for enjoying the dating phase because of my experience with David. I know that every love story is different and sometimes you just “know.” But when you’re 18 and 20 (which we were), I think it’s okay that you don’t know :] We were together for three and a half years before we got married. I know that might seem short to some and long to many others…but for us, it was perfect. (there was also the added fact that we were in college and needed to graduate before we got married! :])
I never was the type of girl who planned to find a husband at college. In fact, I had definite plans otherwise. Marriage was something for people at least a decade older than me to think about. To me, it looked foolish to get married so young. Especially to someone you met as a teenager. Ironically, my entire college experience, save for a few months, are marked by David’s presence. Our time together flipped my expectations of what marriage and love could look like.
David will be the first one to tell you that it wasn’t because of anything especially remarkable that he did. He was just constant and unconditional. In a way I’d never experienced before. Life happened in college and it happened really hard. Things happened in my personal life that could’ve added up to 10 years worth of strife. My time in college was characterized by tragedy, struggle, and some suffering. And David was just there. He bore with me through the overwhelm and through the tears. He was protective in times that I needed protecting. He helped me value self care and sanity when there were things that threatened to hurt my heart over and over again.
Don’t get me wrong, we had a lot of fun together too! Car rides back and forth for summer visits. Long nights of playing cards with friends. Serving in Cru together, committed to something far bigger than ourselves. Spending every New Year’s Eve worshiping Jesus with our community. Countless times that we dissolved into uncontrollable laughter. He was my constant friend in good and bad.
In short, without all the messy details, he made it clear that he was with me. No matter what. He shouldered my burden with me. He was patient. He was absolutely constant in prayer.
Throughout countless transitions and changes, David slowly became my person. I wanted to be with him for as long as this life allowed because he’d chosen to love me and had never backed off from that choice.
Our wedding song was “I Won’t Give Up” by Jason Mraz because of these lyrics: “We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in, I had to learn what I’ve got, and what I’m not and who I am.” For us, those words were so true of what we’d been through. We’d grown together and changed a lot and in that, we’d still chosen to love each other.
One evening, I surprised myself by admitting that to him two years into dating. David remembers me saying, “I think I’ll just say yes whenever you do ask.”
And July 1st, 2011 – he did ask. After making sure I wasn’t going to drop the ring in the lake, of course.
Continued here: the one where it’s officially official.
note* I thought it’d be fun to recount our love story here on the blog. It’s funny, it’s most definitely awkward, and it tells you a little bit about our not so stellar beginnings. Also, it’s one of my favorite stories to tell. Also, when I told David my idea he said “Oh noooooo.” I’ll be posting updates every Friday for the next few weeks! And I’m politely asking that you do not judge the photos because they are most definitely pulled from facebook and terrible, terrible quality :]
